Good-bye, My Friend
by theicemenace
Summary: SHIELD and the Avengers pay tribute to a fallen comrade.


**A/N: **Mascara/Tissue alert! Many thanks to ladygris for her invaluable help with one particular scene.

Thanks,

~Sandy

**Avengers**

**Good-bye, My Friend**

Standing over his battered Mark VII, Tony thought about telling Pepper about Coulson over the phone, but couldn't do it. Somehow, if he said it out loud, it would be more real. But he'd have to sooner or later because Pepper and Phil had been friends and she deserved to hear the news of his death from someone she trusted.

La Guardia wouldn't be open for at least two months and the smaller private airports would take even more time. Thankfully, the helipad on the roof was still structurally sound. As if summoned by his thoughts, the sound of a helicopter reached him as he sipped from a bottle of water. Whiskey or beer would've been better, but he needed to have a clear mind with Pepper.

The elevator doors opened jerking Tony out of his lethargy and he looked up as Pepper rushed into the enormous common area. He met her in the middle, holding her tight against his chest as she gripped the back of his shirt in both hands.

"Tony! I saw everything on the plane and came right back. I'm so glad you're okay."

"The suit didn't make though. But you'll be happy to know I've already gotten started on the Mark VIII."

Pepper pushed out of his arms. "Who _cares_ about the suit! You could've _died_, Tony."

The billionaire shrugged and took Pepper's hand, leading her to the sofa. "Yeah, about that."

"Tony?" She refused to sit down and her eyes got a look in them that said she wasn't in the mood for his usual crap. "_What…happened?!_"

Holding her upper arms as gently as possible, Tony said, "Loki, Thor's brother, well, adopted brother. He got out of his cage and Coulson tried to stop him. Alone."

~O~

The news of Phil's death hit Pepper like a physical blow. Still holding onto Tony, she bent at the waist, her legs suddenly made of rubber. The cushion shifted when Tony sat next to her. "Oh, God. I-I heard about all the people who were killed in the streets and from being trapped in buildings, but never thought…how was he killed?"

Tony's voice, softer than she'd ever heard before whispered in her ear, "Don't go there, Pepper. You should…"

"I _want_ to know, Tony. How?" So stunned at the news she could barely speak, Pepper let Tony put his arm around her shoulders, a sigh escaping that was almost a groan.

"Loki has the ability to project images of himself that are solid when he wants them to be. While…Phil was distracted by one of these projections, Loki came up behind him and…" Pepper shot to her feet to keep Tony from finishing. She'd wanted to hear all the details of her friend's death, but when he got to that point, suddenly it was all too much. Hugging herself, Pepper paced away from Tony, stopping in the middle of the room. And though he didn't make a sound, she knew when he'd come up behind her. "I know that acted like an a** whenever he came around, and to tell the truth, it was out of, you know, jealousy though I had no right to _be_ jealous."

Tears trickled down Pepper's cheeks as she took two steps and rounded on him. "This isn't about _you_, Tony! Phil was my _friend_. That's _all_. Nothing else." Her eyes dropped to the glowing circle of light in the middle of Tony's chest. "And despite the way you treated him, he thought of _you_ as a friend too."

Tony cleared his throat and when she looked into his face, she saw the pain of loss that mirrored hers. He was looking at her, yet not. Pepper had never seen Tony like this and she found herself wanting to comfort him, for them to comfort each other. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, eyes downcast to keep her from seeing his grief. One thing he still hadn't learned was that she would always be there for him, just as he would always be there for her.

Returning to him, her hands rested on his waist skimming around to his back so she could pull him into her embrace. She laid her head on his shoulder and after a moment, his arms encircled her and they just held each other.

"Just before it all started, we-Thor, Rogers, Banner, Fury, and Romanoff-we were arguing over…"

"It doesn't _matter_, Tony. You lost a friend." Pepper tightened her arms fractionally. "Stop pretending you don't feel the loss."

For just a moment, she could feel him start to pull away. Then, as if a switch were flipped inside him, he too tightened his hold, and there they stood, mourning the loss of their friend, Phil Coulson.

~O~

The services for Agent Phil Coulson were held a week later, the church filled to overflowing. The Metro police had been called in to direct traffic with SHIELD agents as security to make sure no one got any ideas about bombing the place.

As they were ushered to their seats in the second row, Tony spotted his Avenger teammates as well as a large number of SHIELD agents also there to honor a fallen comrade. Rogers, Romanoff and Barton sat together in the front pew. The archer slumped in his seat, arms crossed and dark glasses covering his eyes as if he were trying to go unnoticed. He kept his face averted from the cherry wood urn sitting atop a small table just in front of the altar. A picture of Coulson with his patented friendly smile was belied by the slightly evil twinkle in his blue eyes reminding Tony of the day Coulson had been ordered to babysit him.

_If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch "Supernanny" while you drool into the carpet._

Every few moments Barton would adjust the glasses and rub the end of his nose. Tony heard talk aboard the helicarrier that Barton and Coulson had been friends for many years and that Coulson was responsible for recruiting Barton into SHIELD.

In the center of the row where Tony now sat with Pepper, Thor and Banner were joined by Hill, Kripke and several other bridge officers. Facing forward again, Tony said nothing, just held onto Pepper's hand. The room fell silent as the minister took his place at the podium. "Death reminds us that we live in a fallen, imperfect world. We're reminded of mankind's failings, flaws, and limitations. Anytime we stand at the graveside, we are reminded of the shadow that has been cast over humanity because of Adam's sin.

_"_But, death doesn't merely remind us of the universal nature of mankind's problems. God did not leave us in the valley or under the shadow. When we know God and the truth of His Scripture, death also brings us…a precious realization. We realize that God has a solution…something greater than the painful reminder.

"We have a precious realization today: that God has acted on our behalf and provided for us a greater answer to our need. This precious realization is why the Psalmist said, 'Yea, though I walk _through_ the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.'"

The minister stopped speaking when Barton abruptly got up and pushed out the nearest exit. When the door closed again, he resumed the service, but Tony no longer heard the words. Releasing Pepper's hand, he left his seat and slipped out the same door.

Tony found the archer in the garden leaning one shoulder against a tree, the sunglasses in his left hand and his head down. When he heard Tony's approach, Barton quickly stuck the glasses back on before facing him. For just a few minutes, neither man spoke. Then the music began playing, the somber strains pulling at both men.

Still Barton didn't move except to shove both hands deep into his pockets, the crinkle of paper a harsh sound in the tranquil atmosphere. "Fury gave me a letter. Phil didn't have any family. He, uh, asked me to give the eulogy." Barton chuckled humorlessly. "Always thought _I'd_ be the first to go."

Tony took a deep breath and let it out, mirroring Barton's stance. "You know, one of the hardest things I've ever done was to give the eulogy at my father's funeral. The man never _once_ told me he loved me. Not until it was too late."

"What has that got to do…"

Tony put his hand up for silence. "And now it's too late to tell _Coulson_ how much having him as a friend meant to you-to _all_of us. But we can honor his memory by respecting his last wishes."

Barton cleared his throat and nodded. They returned to the church and a few moments later, the minister motioned to Barton. The agent took his place at the podium, unfolding a sheet of paper as he went. He removed the sunglasses, hooking them in the breast pocket of his suit jacket and adjusted the mic. An uncomfortable silence settled over the room when he didn't immediately begin speaking. Picking up the paper, he seemed to think better of what he'd written, crumpling the paper in his left hand and dropping it into his pocket. His hands gripped the edges of the podium as he looked out over the faces of the people gathered to honor their fallen friend. "My name is Clint Barton, and it is with great…sadness that I stand before you…" He paused to clear his throat. "…not to mourn the passing of my…" Again, he hesitated. Coulson was more than a friend. "…of my friend, Phil Coulson, but to celebrate his life. He…he…Aw, _h***._

"Phil lived for this _country_ and this _world_, but also for Captain America. We all knew that. He did what was right and…" Clint shook his head, "…he made everyone around him better people.

"It is incredibly…sad…that his life ended so soon, and I can't tell you how much…he will be missed. Coulson-Phil-hated these things-funerals and he'd be furious if we stayed sad today. If he was here…" Clint chuckled as he thought about his handler and friend, "…he'd kick our a**es and ask us why we're not thinking about the good times we shared."

Clint pressed his lips together as he looked around at agents who might not have liked him, but they understood his presence in spite of his actions while under Loki's influence. "Today, let's celebrate Phil's _life_," he said, finally recovering the poise to finish out his planned speech. "Let's remember all the remarkable things Phil accomplished and just how amazing his life was." He turned to the picture of a man who had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes in spite of the immaculate suit. "Goodbye, my friend."

Several others got up to talk about Coulson, including Pepper, but the most poignant words had been Barton's. The master assassin kept so much bottled up inside that it had been gut-wrenching to listen to him let loose now. But Barton only said what most of those assembled were thinking.

Phil Coulson had been a great agent and even better friend. And no matter what he said out loud, Tony would miss him.

**End**


End file.
